The JOB

Today, I got my first job and became an independent person. It feels strange looking back what I accomplished and what I did not. This transition holds a key change in my life and my family's life. Though expectations were high, this global meltdown coupled with my weaknesses forced me to take this job. I do not know whether I am happy or not, but I know one thing clear that I was not giving time to develop myself but was just running here and there. Like others, I was also in hurry to wind up things and hit the jackpot.
After four years at the premier technical institute of India, I have developed many new things in myself but still more or less, I am unchanged, same as was in JEE or school times. The decision of being into mechanical engineering, decision of doing (or not doing) some of the things in four years of college life- there are several decisions that I took for myself and while looking back, I am not able to judge whether they were right or wrong for me.
I think that these four years have taught me more about my limitation than my capabilities. But my mind still does not agree to be defeated and tells me again and again about my capabilities. I could have got a lot lot more in this time, but four years are not too much a time period to conclude anything.
I think that I performed half less than my family's expectations, the thought of which gives me immense pain. I could not think before about how much my decisions and performance affect my family. This meltdown has given me some lessons that I can not forget. What I can hope now is about what is hidden in future.