politics

I came across politics in last few days. At the end, it was win of right in a sense. Many faces came in their true form. It is sad to see people manipulating so much leaving behind ethics and morals. Some do it for power and influence, some for enjoyment, some for their "political career" and some for money and fame. But they all distort the system that is already distorted due to principle of "majority rules". In the end, some are left crying and some enjoying. But right candidate is seldom placed in right position. We are happy that we won but after so much damage and drama. Some relations were redefined and some were broken. Due to groups formation, best candidates are always left behind.
I am finally glad that our friend who deserved the most, won.

experiences of scoldings

I was scolded today by one of my professor for not reading properly and then asking questions. Yesterday also, one senior professor got angry on our group (not me particularly) for not doing work properly.Seldom, I have been rebuked. I remember, in the days of my childhood, I was rebuked by my Mamaji (uncle) when I stole some rupees from the shop for reason I do not remember clearly, probably for ice cream or chocolate. I started to sobbing heavily. I did not cry but was weeping from inside. When my Naniji realised this, she scolded Mamaji not to rebuke me and showed heavy affection to me. Then, I started to cry severely. This is one of my characteristic that when someone shows empathy to me, I start to cry, probably because I,often, hide my feelings and do not show to others unless they force me to do so. But, inside, by remembering that incident again and again, I give pain to myself. I cry when someone starts to love me as there was no one on this planet to love this human being. Wherever I went, I was always considered thoughtful and mature person, so I always had pleasure of getting affection from family, relatives and friends. But when sometime, someone hurts me then I feel like I am being tortured deeply and unable to sustain pressure of my emotions.

After coming here at IIT and its hostel life, I started to learn little about controlling my emotions. But at several points of time, I was hurt by someone unknowingly or knowingly. I always aspire not respect, but good understanding and cooperation from others. But as I have lived most of my life taking decisions myself without protection of family or friends, I had practiced sufficiently enough to walk alone and do my work. I consider that as one of my significant achievement and I am getting used to it. But still, I always hope that someday we all shall understand each other better and live meaningful life.

My professors are right for every word they said and their scolding is what brings me to right direction. But I dream that one day teacher would sit with us and make realize us our mistakes by showing love and affection not by rules and regulations.

CSL assignment

This 2nd data structure assignment has exploited me as no one before did. I have been trying this for more than 2 weeks but could not got through.I started to loose my temper and sometime became aggressive and frustrated. This was very tough time for me as it over examined my patience. Today, finally I did one part of it so lots of relief today.

But I like doing programming as long as it is not so much frustrating. I have started to take interest in economics and hence, I am trying to figure out what it is.