The change

I was thinking to change myself for a long time. My line of thinking was good in some directions but was very subjective and narrowed in many areas. It is nobody's fault as I have been developed in a very conservative and mixed past. I have phobia of many things that I am not good at like working in practicals and labs, interaction with females, fear of competition and challenging tasks, introvert nature, unclear and too complicated mindset. I am overfilled with emotions and feelings that I find myself deeply attached with everyone I meet or even see. I create fantasies of different kind in which I was trying to influence others with many skills. I am sort of a respect seeking person with high self-dignity.
This was sort of a description of my nature in a negative sense. But there are lots of good things that my eyes can see. But I would not talk about them here as I do not want to change them. To improve upon all my weaknesses and defects. I appreciate the fact that there is no direct formula for improving these and I need to improve them day to day. Everyday should be a challenge for me to identify my mistakes, eliminate the existing ones and develop a quest to become a better individual. This change would come only when I come out of my comfort zone and face the situations that teach me about my mistakes. The more I am involved in activities that brings out my limitations and mistakes, more I would learn.
To end with a positive note, I have started to appreciate importance of people and other things and their influence on me. I now spend more time with myself to know better and enjoy myself.